Trying to figure out those past 2 years, and all I can summarise it into one word, it would be Derailed.
Have fairly lost my way in the career, doubt of being a loser for the family is now confirmed and lately been passing these lonely weekend driving around the city.
I hope th future holds some good for me, for I have not given up. Would not say that suicide has stopped crossing my mind, but yes, I am still here, barely alive though.
Sometimes I feel I have this victimized mentality where I wanna potray myself as a someone to have piyu on. Should ponder and get away from that.
Financially, I should focus more on everything. Paying the debts back to the wife, before she concretes upon separation. Would chip around from some savings, and might start free lancing again soon.
Then I should finish off with this FRM thingy, it is now dragging on for no reason. Shouldn't have given a break to learn data and all. Consistency is not maintained. Should work on that too. Syllabus comes on December 1. Would build after it comes.
I know my kids are being taken away from me slowly. I hope I can build something for them to start life in whatever way they wish to.
I hope get this bulky train back on its track.
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